I'm the Worst Mom Ever

Have you ever had a plan for your day and your sunny day plans soon turned into a brewing thunderstorm. I am trying with the Lord's help to enjoy the rain and really grasp joy in times of major "Mommy Stress". I find myself on most days looking for the next break, the next nap, the next time I can let my kids watch tv so I can take a breath. Most days, I feel like I am serving my family from the bottom of the barrel instead of the overflow. The constant needs of my children (Grace 3, Jacob, 2, and Abigail 8 months) and the endless time crunches to get things done keep me distracted. My "Mommy Stress" is usually, on a scale of one to ten, an 8. When I feel completely drained, I am irritable, moody and annoyed (my husband's favorite word that I use). I am nowhere close to remembering the tender whispers ..."less of you, more of me(Jesus), this is all FOR THE GOOD, "come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:2-29). When I am not filling my spiritual bucket and staying focused on my goal as a mom (to create an environment of total wellness for my family), I struggle and the "Mommy Stress" takes over. I end up feeling like 'the worst mom ever'. My mind starts flashing horror stories of shopping with little kids. I love it when people stare at me as I drag my toddlers out of a store screaming. I enjoy even more when complete strangers shake their head saying "poor little girl", as my 3 year old erupts like a volcano in aisle six because I won't let her get the chocolate cereal. Or the times that I lock myself in my room for a time out because I can't take the whining and crying...AHHHHHH! These are the times when I have allowed satin to get the best of me. I am opperating in reverse. I let my to-do-lists take the lead instead of my quiet time with God to get refilled for the days activities. I pray that God will continue to show me His divine perspective, reduce my stress and His voice of truths would be shouts instead of whispers. I will continue to work out my "Mommy Stress" so that I can lead my family down the path of spiritual wellness. My 3 year old is also teaching me. When I am frazzled and stressed she says, "Mommy, you need to change your attitude and ask God to forgive you." WOW...Being a mom is the most character building I've been through yet.